Okay, so here it goes. Are you in a band? Do you think that you don’t suck? Are you an un-chubby Ben Gibbard, or an un-bearded James Mercer, or perhaps even an un-British Sting? Prove it, you little jerk! Are you sick of only playing for your high school talent show and only getting three hits a month on your MySpace page? Here is your chance to expose yourself to literally tens of readers, so don’t blow it.

Send me your MySpace address (i.e. myspace.com/TheGingerRodleys), an mp3 of your hit single (i.e. “Never Again in the Pants”), or if you are ballsy enough to send the full CD e-mail me and I’ll give you the address to send it to (i.e. The Ginger Rodleys’ hit album, Rake/Rake/Mow/Mow, featuring their hit song “Never Again in the Pants”). You get the idea.

I will, in some fashion or another depending how many people participate in this, review your music on this site. Even if I tear it apart there are a lot of people who don’t agree with me and will therefore visit your MySpace site to see what the hell I’m talking about. That’s free press baby! I don’t promise to be nice, but I do promise to be a bit more constructive than I am for most of the albums I review.

If your band is heavy metal or the like, drag your leather pants and dog collars to Beyond The Threshold, a brother here at MGF. They have a similar column and I don’t want to step on any gothic toes. Although, they are probably wearing steel-tip Grinders so it won’t hurt if I do. Other than that, bring it on! Send your info to Shut_Up_Kozuh@yahoo.com. And if you’re a chick band, be sure to include a naughty photo, for, you know, critic purposes.

Good Luck and Don’t Waste My Time!!

As you may have noticed, Machine Gun Funk has SHATTERED the mold and implemented its own ratings system. For those of you wondering, here’s the key…

Legendary

Incredible

Excellent

Very good

Good

Fairly good

Fair

Fairly poor

Poor

Horrendous

Absolutely worthless