Snoop Dogg – Ego Trippin’
Geffen Records (03/11/08)
Rap / Hip-hop

2008 marks the 15th anniversary of Snoop Dogg’s solo career. While I’m one of the few people left who was there from the beginning, I was really hedging on whether or not to buy Ego Trippin’, his ninth studio album. The first single (“Sexual Eruption/Sensual Seduction”) was released last fall and I christened it Snoop’s worst single ever over at My Bootleg Blog. Not surprisingly, public response was the opposite of my own as Singin’-Ass Snoop scored a surprisingly decent (albeit, regional) hit.

This was still shaping up to be the first Snoop Dogg album I didn’t buy until our friends at Geffen Records sent me an advance copy.

Now, we can all agree that 1993’s Doggystyle was his finest effort (and the standard he’d unsuccessfully chase for the rest of his career). I’d personally put 1999’s No Limit Top Dogg a distant second, with 2002’s Paid Tha Cost to be Tha Boss album winning the bronze.

The remainder of Snoop’s discography, quite simply, isn’t very good. The Rhythm & Gangsta album spawned the biggest hit of his career, but not much else. Blue Carpet Treatment featured several Dr. Dre-produced cuts, but ended up as one of the most disappointing albums in recent memory, while Tha Last Meal was ruined by rampant bootlegging of the original version.

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Another year has come and gone, kids. Here at MGF, we take our status seriously as the best damn music site on erf. But, that doesn’t dissuade us from the predictable publication of the ubiquitous “year in review” columns.

I spent the first six weeks of 2006 on the Bootleg beat, bringing three years of pop culture references, music news and Lil’ Kim jokes to an awkward, uncomfortable end. From there, I spent several months on the corner of “sabbatical” and “semi-retirement” before returning to the front lines for the launch of machinegunfunk.com.

OK, now that we’ve covered my year in review, let’s get to the music.

Album of the Year: Lupe Fiasco, Food & Liquor… M’boy from the “Nick’a Please” days first turned me on to Lupe well before his album was released. From there, I found some of Fiasco’s mixtape material from the local mom n’ pop record shop. For most of ‘06, Nick and I had a mutual CD burning exchange program and he hooked me up with Food & Liquor. It’s a daring, risky and spectacular debut. Just the shot of substance that the industry needed.

Plus, it was stolen when my car was broken into a few weeks ago. If that’s not the sign of a hot album, I don’t know what is!

Song of the Year: “One Blood” (Remix), The Game featuring Jim Jones, Snoop Dogg, Nas, T.I., Fat Joe, Lil’ Wayne, N.O.R.E., Jadakiss, Styles P, Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Rick Ross, Twista, Kurupt, Daz Dillinger, WC, E-40, Bun B, Chamillionaire, Slim Thug, Young Dro, Clipse and Ja Rule…

Yeah, I can’t believe it, either. The words “song of the year” appearing next to names like “Chamillionaire”, “T.I.” and “Styles P”.

Clocking in at over 11 minutes, this one gets the nod from me simply by being the most ambitiously prolific rap release I’ve ever heard. The Game has probably burned the bridges of support that were built for him on the East Coast during his whole “scorch the earth” feud with almost everyone in the industry. Still, even accounting for the lyrical shortcomings of some of the performers, it’s the closest thing to “unity” we’ve had since that Queen Latifah track from 1993 (“Who you callin’ a bitch?!”)

Story of the Year: Well, of course the death of James Brown trumps all. IP’s Eric Szulczewski penned a respectful tribute to the hardest-working man in show business back on Christmas Day.

So, with that avenue covered, I’m going with the abject collapse of rap music sales as my (runner-up) story of the year.

My “album of the year” has so far moved about 200,000 units. I’d put The Game’s Doctor’s Advocate as my silver medalist and after selling about 350K (and debuting at #1) its first week, it slid right out of the top 10 the following week.

Those in the industry point to the runaway success of ringtones and legal downloads as the preferred way for fans to hear the music they want, but the 800-lb. elephant in the room can be ignored.

Rap music’s current commercial state is… not good. Southern rappers have cooned the product right back to slave days. Meanwhile, the usually surefire success stories are releasing the exact same tracks that they were five years ago (Jay-Z, Nas, The Wu-Tang Jive Time Band) and ten years ago (Snoop Dogg, Tupac).

Sadly, there doesn’t appear to be any recovery on the horizon. Hip hop may not be dead, but the organ harvest team is on standby.

Non-Story of the Year: Every week, I get my haircut at a barbershop in the North Park section of San Diego. It’s owned and operated by a brutha who moved out here from New York over 10 years ago. It’s the most authentic “barbershop experience” you’ll ever find, with loud men, louder music and the occasional bootleg distributor making the rounds.

My barber insists that this is the “New York style” of shops and, if that’s the case, one thing is perfectly clear: y’all New York bruthas can cry like some bitches.

If I hear one more sad story about how the “New York” rap game is in trouble or New York artists don’t get no radio play or New York artists don’t get no promotion…

This just in, East Coast… the entire industry is in trouble, no one outside of Atlanta and its suburbs (y’know, Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, etc.) is getting real radio play and, other than Jay-Z, can anyone name any rapper that’s gotten any real promotion this year?

Ah, but since New York is the cradle of rap civilization we’re all to assume the sky is falling just because these crybabies feel a few drops of rain on their played-out Yankee fitted.

Sorry, East Coast, but you’re not immune to the same commercial criticism I’m serving to the South. Y’all heard that Busta Rhymes Big Bang album, right? Garbage. Ditto for just about anything with “G-Unit” on the front or back of the CD case. And, don’t get me started on acts like Fat Joe, Diddy and that terrible Theodore Unit album that came out under Ghostface’s name a few weeks ago.

Jesus, I feel better, already.

Other ‘06 Headlines

Three-6 Mafia Win an Oscar – Trust me, kids… Black people weren’t happy about this. But, it led to the surreal sight of these clowns on Ellen, so we’ll call it a wash.

1,000,000,000th song downloaded on iTunes – Where were you on February 22 when Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound” found its way onto the hard drive of Hayley in Hoboken?

Taylor Hicks wins American Idol – Apparently, first prize was an entire summer spent infesting every show I watched with his silver-maned mincing in that Ford commercial.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline give birth! – Well, one of ‘em does, anyway. Their second child is named Jayden James and he reeks of Old Milwaukee and OxyContin.

Weird Al Yankovic gets first top 10 song – Are you kidding me? Seriously, “Eat It” didn’t crack the top 10 back in the ’80s? That song was everywhere 20+ years ago. Well, congratulations to Al. Here’s hoping this modicum of music success finally opens the doors of the entertainment industry to those of the Jewish faith.

Lance Bass is gay – “You know. Light-hearted, fancy-free. ‘Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers Lance Bass is on the town!’” Yep, I’m stealing Simpsons quotes right up to the end.

In Memoriam

Lou Rawls – Still waiting on that kick down from your United Negro College Fund telethons, Lou. I didn’t sit through years of Willie Tyler & Lester and Nipsey Russell begging for our money just so I could pay my own way through school.

Wilson Pickett – I’d just like to point out that m’man Warren G. borrowed Pickett’s “In the Midnight Hour” for a song (and the title) of his most recent album. Legend-to-legend…always good to see.

J Dilla – Sorry, but there’s an unwritten rule here at IP that you can’t make fun of dead guys who happen to be the darlings of one or two IP writers, regardless of whether or not said writers had ever written one word about the artist when he/she was alive. We call it the “Dimebag Darrell Edict”.

Professor X – Now, this one hurt. Seriously. What? Y’know, Aaron Cameron isn’t always in “Bootleg Guy” mode.

Gene Pitney – What the…? I thought she was already dead? Hell, she was born in 1855, so I’m kinda surprised that a 151-year-old woman’s passing wasn’t a bigger news story. Ironic that she outlived Cicely Tyson, the actress who portrayed her so wonderfully in 1974’s… wait, that was Jane Pittman. Their names kinda sound alike.

June Pointer – Was she still in the group when The Pointer Sisters did “Neutron Dance” from the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack? I loved that song. And, that movie! Keep your eyes peeled or you’ll miss a young Bronson Pinchot and Damon Wayans!

Proof – In the days following the tragic death of this Detroit MC, his best friend Eminem said, “Without Proof there would be no Eminem, no Slim Shady, no D12.” A little late for Mathan, but now the rest of you know who to blame.

Billy Preston – 20 solo albums, a pair of number one hits and the dude wrote “You Are So Beautiful”. More impressive to me is that he died in Scottsdale, Arizona. Not counting baseball’s spring training or the residences of some of the Phoenix Suns, who knew Black folk lived there?

Jessie Mae Hemphill – She was a blues singer or something. Sadly, no relation to the more famous Shirley Hemphill of What’s Happening?! and What’s Happening Now?! fame, who died a few years ago.

Freddy Fender – Remember when the red states didn’t hate Mexicans? Freddy does.

Gerald Levert – Mrs. Bootleg is still grieving. He’s supposedly releasing a new album in February which, if Biggie Smalls is any indication, will be lavished with undeserved praise and hailed as a classic, even though it’s about 20 songs too long with way too many reaches for radio.

And, that about wraps up our recap of the year that was. I hope you had as much fun uncomfortably laughing at my jokes in poor taste as I did writing them. A special thanks to that Nick’a Please guy for (unknowingly) giving me a few ideas for this piece and for supplying a lot of the music that I didn’t pay for this year.

To our readers… have a happy and safe 2007!

Quick Personal Note: This is my final column for Inside Pulse, MGF and all its subsidiary sites. My thanks to every reader and all of my IP peers who’ve made this so enjoyable for me. I hope a few of you will keep reading, regardless of where my writing eventually takes me.

Nas – Hip Hop Is Dead
Def Jam (release date: 12/19/2006)
Rap

When I first heard about the latest release from Nasir (Nas) Jones, I figured Hip Hop Is Dead would follow the pretentiously dull preaching that overwhelmed his bloated ‘04 album, Street’s Disciple.

Make no mistake: Disciple was a disaster and unequivocally answered the question of whether or not we’d ever hear the 1994 Nas again.

But, just two years later, there was reason for optimism. Nas and his bitter rival Jay-Z had not only patched up their differences, but they were now working together to oversee the release of this latest Nas LP. And, as longtime rap fans have slowly asphyxiated on the sonic vomit from the South, the notion that hip hop just might be on its deathbed isn’t so far-fetched.

The title track features Will.i.am, who generally annoys me, but he’s pretty harmless here on both the vocals and guitar-heavy production. Nas goes back to the “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” sample, but doesn’t seem able to get this one out of second gear. His flow is nice, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Nas has said all this before and said it better, elsewhere.

That can especially be said about “Who Killed It”. Nas sets out to solve the mystery of just who killed hip hop, but uses an almost unlistenable imitation of Edward G. Robinson’s voice. Think “Chief Wiggum” from The Simpsons. Yep, it’s that bad. The lyrics are actually very strong, which make this, uh, “creative decision” all the more nonsensical.

Nas tried something similar on Street’s Disciple to similarly cataclysmic results. And, speaking of which, he goes for the cheap pop again here with “Where Are They Now?” On his last album, Nas dropped an ass-kissing ode to Rakim and this time he just name-drops a few dozen long-forgotten rappers for about three minutes.

OK, now that we’ve got the negative out of the way…

“Black Republican” features Jay-Z and a phenomenal sample from the score of The Godfather, Part II. For everyone wondering if Jigga would sabotage the release of his one-time foe and current subordinate, this one is easily better than anything from Jay-Z’s Kingdom Come album.

A pair of West Coast kings lift the already exceptional tracks, “Play on Playa” and “Hustlers”. Snoop Dogg continues his lyrical renaissance on the former over a smoothed-out Scott Storch beat, while The Game gets a majestically funky Dr. Dre beat to carry the latter.

“Not Going Back” is more of that Nas and Kelis thang, but the message come through in spite of the marital mess that these two usually bring to the mic. It’s one of the more honest anthems you’ll hear from hip hop and doesn’t even attempt to hide behind predicable posturing. “Carry on Tradition” is another “message” cut, but is similarly more about the music than preaching to the listener.

My expectations weren’t all that high for this album, but damned if Nas hasn’t resurrected himself from the ashes once again. The beats are uneven, but there’s much more good than bad. Lyrically, it’s the same old Nas… not as good as he was 10 years ago, but still better than just about anyone else out there.

The only glaring negatives are that Nas probably didn’t go far enough with his criticism of current hip hop (sadly typical of Nas, who’s always been a little more bark than bite).

Oh, and that Chief Wiggum voice. Just f’n terrible.

Rating:

Various Artists – Eminem Presents: The Re-Up
Shady/Interscope (release date: 12/5/2006)
Rap

So, did the “Eminem Era” of rap ever really end?

In just a few months, we’ll have passed the eight-year anniversary of his 1999 debut The Eminem LP. One could make a legitimate case that Em’s first album was one of the most important releases ever. Think about it: It stamped out the last smoldering embers of rap’s “shiny suit” era, while relegating 1998’s Hip Hop king, Master P back into anonymity.

Eminem also brought super-producer Dr. Dre back from the unemployment line and, ultimately became the radio voice and video face of Interscope Records, the most powerful corporate entity in entertainment.

And, everything was just dandy until the release of Eminem’s fourth studio album, Encore. Oh, it sold well and went multi-platinum, but the hardcore rap fans whom Marshall Mathers had once won over, began to turn their backs on Em’s repetitive themes and mediocre self-made beats.

After a couple of years out of the music spotlight, Eminem returns with The Re-Up. Oddly enough, the marketing for this new release has been the misleading tease of “7 New Eminem Tracks!”, when this is actually a compilation album that features just two solo joints from Em.

“Public Enemy #1″ is one of these cuts. And, for about the hundredth time since the 8 Mile soundtrack, Em uses his “Lose Yourself” flow (with no Mekhi Phifer) to convey fatalistic paranoia. The only thing more predictable is the “No Apologies” track. Did you know that Eminem couldn’t give a f*ck about the haters? Never heard that angle before, Marshall. Nice of you to bring back your 2000-2002 style on this one, though.

Fortunately, Eminem shares enough mic time across more than 20 tracks and there’s some real goodness here and there. On the title track, 50 Cent and Em display their undeniable chemistry over one of those 1-2-3 (pause) 1-2-3-4 beats that’s generic, but OK if we grade on the curve I call “the Shady scale”. It also includes a passive-aggressive diss at The Game.

“You Don’t Know” has gotten crazy airplay and video time and it’s easy to see why. 50, Eminem and Lloyd Banks aren’t lyrically deep on this one, but there’s an avalanche of energy here that makes it work. Newcomer Cashis is strong here, too and holds his own with some of Hip Hop’s heavyweights.

Speaking of the rookie class, Stat Quo is already a mixtape veteran, but finally gets some Shady Records exposure on the main stage. “By My Side” is built on a nice, non-Eminem beat that’s understated, but effective. His flow lacks ferocity, but it’s good enough for the moment. He’s also on the Dr. Dre-produced “Get Low”, which is an even better listen.

The Alchemist is credited with “compiling” this album and, in true mixtape fashion, there’s a handful of remixes, including new takes on Akon’s annoying “Smack That” single and an unnecessary revisit of Obie Trice’s “Cry Now”. Most egregiously, Eminem ruins 50 Cent’s “Ski Mask Way”, which was one of about two listenable tracks from The Massacre.

Casual fans might not realize that this isn’t your usual shined and polished compilation album. This was originally intended to be a street tape, before Em and Interscope saw it as a means to build towards heavily-hyped 2007 releases of various Shady artists. Several tracks end abruptly, while others are more about putting the new talent on display, rather than giving the listener an extended opportunity to appreciate their sound.

The Re-Up is inconsistent and uneven, but effective for what it is. The “Eminem” brand name still carries enough weight to get fans to cop this album, while Shady Records lays the groundwork for a new era.

Rating:

Akon – Konvicted
Universal/Motown (released 11/21/2006)
Urban/R&B

My wife and I tend to run in entirely different musical circles.

She’s not much into the “urban” scene, save for the occasional made-for-radio work of artists who are more style than substance. So, her reaction should’ve come as no surprise when I told her that I’d received a review copy of Aliaune (Akon) Thiam’s latest album, Konvicted.

Mrs. Cameron’s direct quote was, “Akon’s just good for hooks. He can’t carry a whole album.”

Unfortunately for me, Akon hails from the wrong country in Western Africa. As it stands, he was born in Senegal, which rendered my brilliant retort, “So, you’re saying he’s the Nigerian Nate Dogg?” null and void.

I was actually able to go into Konvicted with a more open mind than my wife. These days, I don’t listen to a whole lot of FM commercial radio, so I had hardly realized that Akon was collaborating with everyone from Snoop Dogg to Gwen Stefani. So, on a sunny San Diego Saturday, I popped Akon’s sophomore CD into the car stereo and used it as my Xmas shopping soundtrack.

And, about 60 seconds in, one thing became perfectly clear: “Akon” is French for “Nate Dogg”. (Y’see, cuz French is the official language of Senegal. In fact, you can read several more interesting facts about Senegal right here.)

Konvicted is basically the album that m’man Nate Dogg should’ve released in 1995 to capitalize on the peak of his fame. All through Akon’s effort, I couldn’t help but be drawn to the eerie similarities between the two artists’ approach.

“Shake Down” is the opening track, which serves up the standard H.N.I.C. subject matter over an admittedly impressive beat with just a hint of majesty. But, my mind was drawn to the fact that Nate Dogg used the same approach for his first album’s first track “Hardest Man in Town”.

Trust me, readers…this isn’t another attempt by me to force the West Coast down your collective throats.

The very next track, “Blown Away”, features Styles P in a paint-by-numbers cameo and a generic Akon hook. My first thought: the Jada n’ Nate track “Time’s Up” from Kiss’ last solo LP.

This is not an isolated incident.

Eminem shows up on the inane pabulum of “Smack That”, further deteriorating Slim Shady’s once-impressive standing and all I can think of is how Em n’ Nate made the same song last year called “Shake That”. When Akon tries to get all serious on “The Rain” it’s impossible for me not to remember how Nate Dogg used the exact same metaphor on “I Don’t Wanna Hurt No More”.

Even when Akon is trying to sound sincere, it falls flat with his ridiculous lyricism. You’d think he’d have some vested interest in a cut like “Mama Africa”. But, then he inexplicably takes the grade school approach of spelling out the word and telling us what each letter means. Y’know…”A is for…, F is for…, R is for…”

Of course you already knew that Nate Dogg did the same thing on 1997’s “G-Funk”, which included the spelling bee elimination lyric, “K is for these n*ggas that I knock on they back.” I mean, did the “K” stand for “n*gga” or “knock”, Nate?

Well, I’ve just about beat this point into the ground, so I’ll take time to point out that Akon finishes strong with “Don’t Matter”. The entire song is only about 20 words repeated over and over, but the whole “forbidden love” thing isn’t lost on me. After all, Nate Dogg did it too on both “Because I Got a Girl” and “Dirty Hoes’ Draws”.

Akon’s success on the Billboard charts belies the very real fact that there’s just not much to his “talent”. At only 12 tracks, it’s hard to argue that he overstays his welcome, but Akon is the very essence of “complementary talent”. As such, Akon should stay the hell away from a microphone unless he’s got the adult supervision of another artist to do the heavy lifting.

Rating:

Clipse – Hell Hath No Fury
Star Trak/Jive (released 11/28/2006)
Rap

In this sea of holiday releases that, so far, have included new albums by Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg and The Game, it’s quite possible that the single most anticipated joint isn’t from any of them.

Thanks to a load of label drama and other administrative delays, The Clipse’s Hell Hath No Fury is finally seeing the light of day. Depending on whom you believe, this album has been in work for up to three years. For those of you unsure of just how long ago that was…The Clipse’s “Grindin” was still being played in a few clubs back then.

This past spring, The Clipse (Malice & Pusha T) reached an agreement with Jive Records to finally release this album. It’s benefited from some advance buzz on the heels of the first two singles and no less an authority than XXL Magazine has given it a perfect rating.

Hip Hop and… “hype”? My, what strange bedfellows.

Well, believe the hype on the aforementioned first two singles. “Mr. Me Too” is a refreshingly brilliant spin on the overdone “they (sic) all jealous of me” cut. Pharrell’s insufferable egotism is a perfect fit as his smarm is blunted by the outstanding Neptunes production. It’s the same story on “Wamp Wamp” which features an infectious hook and that familiar Clipse sound with bit of an island lilt.

Charisma is hard to come by in the commercial rap industry, but The Clipse have it in spades. How else can you explain the kick-ass automatic weapon anthem “Chinese New Year”? There just aren’t many other artists that could simulate gunfire throughout a track and make it an enjoyable listen. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that The Neptunes lay down another crazy beat that sounds like it’s from five years in the future.

But, let’s come clean. There are two things about this album that bring down the overall score. The first is the final track, “Nightmares”. It’s a slow, maudlin mess that lifts a little from The Geto Boys’ “Mind Playing Tricks on Me” track. Unfortunately, this one’s completely out of place here. The second issue is the subject matter.

While The Clipse have a clever delivery and a flow that seamlessly meshes with whatever the Neptunes serve up, some of you may get a little tired of all the drug references that acts like Biggie Smalls and Shyne have already exaggerated to death.

Still, tracks like “Dirty Money” and “Keys Open Doors” are impressive enough from a production standpoint to stand on their own. And, the first ever rap reference to Eric Bischoff is worth a mention on “Ain’t’ Cha”.

Hell Hath No Fury isn’t changing the game like Lupe Fiasco did earlier this year, but it’s a strong album that provides a little more optimism from the genre as 2006 comes to an end. It’s hard to imagine The Clipse getting any better than this, but “pretty damn good” is still pretty damn good.

Rating:

2Pac – Pac’s Life
Amaru/Interscope (release date: 11/21/2006)
Rap

This is the 16th Tupac album since his commercial career began in 1991.

OK, maybe it’s more like 14th, since no one really counts those two pretentious poetry albums. Then, again, 1994’s Thug Life and 1999’s Still I Rise aren’t really Tupac solo albums, either. And, while we’re at it, his Greatest Hits double disc and the soundtrack to Shakur’s Resurrection movie contain mostly previously released material.

So, like I was saying, this is the 11th Tupac album, etc.

That’s still an impressive catalog for a rapper who’s been dead for 10 years, even if said rapper’s ultimate legacy is as the most overrated pop culture persona of this generation.

Make no mistake, Tupac Shakur could be entertaining as hell as a rapper. Sometimes funny and sometimes furious. His lyrics easily leapt from “message music” to misogyny quicker than the thump from a bass line. But, his shortcomings on the mic have been gradually exposed in the decade since his death, while his inexplicable deification seems to know no end.

Like the majority of Tupac’s posthumous albums, Pac’s Life leans heavily on the once-mountainous amount of material from Shakur’s days on Death Row Records. At the time, Pac was going 100 mph after the Notorious B.I.G. and serving as the primary sh*t-stirrer in the embarrassing East-West beef. At the same time, he was trying to get his Outlawz group off the ground, fighting legal drama, making movies, trying to start his own label…

Well, you get the idea. Consequently, a good deal of his music that never saw the light of day when Shakur was alive now sounds unfocused, rushed and repetitive.

Credit the album’s executive exploiting producer, Afeni Shakur (or, more likely, those “friends” of real hip hop at Interscope Records) for acknowledging this by loading up large on guest spots and random padding.

The Swizz Beatz remix of “Untouchable” works in this regard. Sure, it doesn’t come close to capturing the spontaneity of the bootlegged original, but it’s not entirely offensive, either. There’s good energy from all involved, including Bone Thugs-N-Harmony who sound just like they did when anyone still cared about them.

Surprisingly, there are several other highlights and, predictably, few of them come from the supposed star of the album.

Hussein Fatal and Papoose absolutely kill their verses on “Dumpin”, which was originally a track featuring Daz Dillinger and off of the ill-fated Don’t Go 2 Sleep EP. Speaking of which, “Sleep”, parts of which were lifted from the same EP, might serve as a minor miracle, by itself. Noted no-talents Young Buck and Chamillionaire drop some of the best bars of their lives.

And, as with 2004’s Loyal to the Game, almost anything the Outlawz are on is immediately improved. I’m still not sure when they became one of the most underrated acts out there, though.

As you might expect, this is still an uneven ride. “Pac’s Life” is pop-driven dreck built atop an Ashanti hook and T.I.’s trademarked mediocrity. This version of “Whatz Next” sounds a little like a really bad crunk version of Biggie’s “What’s Beef”. The Crunk-Pac continues on “International” and it doesn’t go well.

For those of you who might be “buying blind”, know that there are 13 tracks total, but several of them are remixes of songs already on the album. Snoop adds nothing to the “remix” of “Pac’s Life” save for letting us know that he and Shakur were friends (aww). There are separate “male” and “female” versions of “Playa Cardz Right”.

The man song features Ludacris on a decent verse, then awkwardly (and I mean awkwardly) chatting with Pac at the end. The bitch song features Keyshia Cole and acts all soft and sweet… right before Tupac rapes sexually abuses her.

Oh, I’m kidding.

In the end, this one probably shouldn’t be counted as a Tupac album, either. On it, Shakur is often resurrected for just one verse, before turning the mic over to flavor-of-the-month MCs (T.I.), virtual unknowns who work cheap (Nipsey Hussle… sigh) or legitimate lyricists (Papoose).

Additionally, there’s nothing here that validates the vacuous claim that Tupac is/was the “voice of a generation”. He’s killing his enemies, he’s f*cking your girl, he’s counting his money and he’s still dead.

Rating:

Jay-Z – Kingdom Come
Roc-A-Fella (release date: 11/21/2006)
Rap

Let’s see if I can finally get one of these right from the reader’s perspective.

Way back in my pre-Bootleg, early review days, I wrote up Jay-Z’s Blueprint album and scored it a 7.5 (out of 10). For months, my inbox informed me that I was “jealous” of Jigga, a “hater” and other hurtful urban words and phrases.

Then, in 2002, I reviewed his Blueprint 2.0 album. I gave it an 8.5 (out of 10), then was told by readers that I was on Jay-Z’s dick and disrespecting Nas. I assume they weren’t the same readers as referenced earlier.

Finally, in 2003, Jigga dropped The Black Album which I said then and maintain today, was one of the more overrated LPs in recent memory. It got a 6.5 (and liked it) while I got the wrath of readers who swore they’d never read me again. Unfortunately for them, I was the only writer on the site reviewing rap albums and/or writing the most entertaining weekly column around, so they all came crawling back.

Segue!

Now, it’s not like Shawn Carter has come back to the rap game with his tail between his legs, since he never really left. He spent his retirement as president and CEO of Def Jam, while only slightly dialing down his numerous album guest spots and vanity projects like the mash-up CD he did with Linkin Park. Still, in the short-term memory of rap fans, could Jay-Z take three years “off” and come back as relevant as ever?

Let’s go out on a limb and say, “Yes”.

We’re re-introduced to Jay-Z on “The Prelude”, which plays like the lyrical handshake of an old friend. It’s firm, but wonderfully familiar as Jigga gently chides the rap industry during his absence and doesn’t mince words in his attempt to reclaim the crown. The “Keep the Faith” sample is terrifically languid, to boot.

Just Blaze produces the more majestic “Oh My God”. It’s good enough for most rappers, but Jay-Z has done this “how tough it is to be me” theme to death. Still, the way he lyrically toys with those who’ve sought to start beef with him is akin to a cat playing with a mouse before he kills it. Jigga’s just that far ahead of everyone else.

“Lost One” is much more personal as Jay-Z puts the inner workings of the Roc-A-Fella behind-the-scenes boardroom drama with Damon Dash out on wax. Just Blaze brings out the piano on what Jigga assures us isn’t a “diss track”, but a “real track”. It’s more mid-tempo goodness with a mature tine. And, speaking of mature, one of the album’s highlights is the superb “30 Something”. It’s produced by Dr. Dre (who also mixes every song on the album) and serves like a stern, but respectful lecture on what’s really important like good credit and jeans that don’t sag past the ass.

(There’s also a throwaway line about Michael Jackson and his preference for young boys. I wonder if they’ll be as much of an outcry from the Black community, much like they grossly overreacted when Eminem made a similar dig on 2004’s “Just Lose It”.)

Ah, but then a funny thing happened on the way to “album of the year”.

The “Show Me What U Got” single is already on the short list of really bad songs by really good artists. Jay-Z is better than this example of empty calories for the ear. It doesn’t even dredge up enough oomph for the ubiquitous back-handed compliment of rap: “At least it’s a good dance song.” The video sucks worse than that, but I’m not allowed to consider the video in this review.

The second-half of the album seemingly falls off a cliff in quality, compared to the first half. “Hollywood” could’ve been something special, as Beyonce shows up to support her man, but the “fame is a gift/curse” concept sounds like an already traveled road here and, ultimately, average. “I Made It” is better than most of the “Dear Mama” copycats, but Jigga frames this tribute to his mother in terms of how great he is. We get it, Shawn.

The Neptunes-produced “Anything” features Pharrell and Usher, but all the star power can’t lift this to anything more than an overt reach for radio. Most disappointing is, however, is the dreadfully dated “Minority Report”.

Not to trivialize a tragedy or anything, but the hand-wringing over Hurricane Katrina meant a lot more before every African-American in the country had commented on it. Even the infamous Kanye West soundclip sampled at the end has become way cliché.

Ultimately, Kingdom Come is still better than most of the rap albums released in 2006, but it’s lessened by the weight of its own expectations. It doesn’t feel like the event album that it professes to be. While The Black Album varied wildly in quality, at least it felt like something special.

That might not be fair to Shawn Carter, but no one would argue that Jay-Z should be held to a higher standard than every other MCs out there. Not everyone can rightfully claim to be the king.

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

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Snoop Dogg – Tha Blue Carpet Treatment
Geffen Records (release date: 11/21/2006)
Rap

As someone who’s followed Snoop Dogg’s career for almost 15 years, I can honestly say that Tha Blue Carpet Treatment is his most anticipated album since Snoop’s Doggystyle debut. There are lots of factors driving the hype (in no particular order):

-The return of Dr. Dre to Snoop’s side for the first time since 1999’s No Limit Top Dogg album.

-An all-star guest list, including R. Kelly, Jaime Foxx, Stevie Wonder and The Game.

-A promised “return to lyricism”, which is odd since lyrical fierceness has never been Snoop’s strong suit.

Pharrell Williams assisted on the first single, “Vato”. Its heart’s in the right place as Snoop attempts to squash the so-called “Black and Brown” beefing in the streets with help from B-Real, but ultimately, the track is enjoyable without being exceptional.

There was some head-scratching from those in the know who wondered why Snoop would choose a “message” track as the first shot fired from his album, but it’s actually one of the few radio-made cuts on the CD. “A B*tch I Knew” (which absolutely ain’t FM-friendly) is a wonderfully raunchy ride through different women of different colors in different SoCal locales.

Nate Dogg helms the hook, while Fred Wreck cements his status as one of the most underrated producers on either coast with the bumping funk of “Crazy”. Meanwhile, Pharrell returns on the beat for “10 Lil’ Crips”. Snoop spins a layered gangbang storyline over a minimalist dirge of a baseline. Not to be outdone, Timbaland takes over the boards on the electrically effective “Get A Light”.

So, let’s get back to the hype.

Dr. Dre hasn’t done much in between teases of Detox and his reunion with Snoop was assumed to be instant goodness. “Round Here” works as a haunting tale of dread and despair. Dre’s use of church bells is a perfect fit for the theme. The other Dre tracks (“Boss’ Life” and “Imagine”) fall flat, though. Akon and a meandering piano beat hinders the former, while that same piano and an annoyingly nasal hook from D’Angelo drags down the latter.

The cameos are also more “miss” than “hit”. The Game is decent on “Gangbangin 101″, but, again, a horrible hook kills this one after the first verse. Ice Cube is just collecting an appearance fee on “LAX”, which is made much, much worse by the repeated sample of Biggie and Puffy from the opening of Big’s “Goin’ Back to Cali” track. And, that R. Kelly cut, “That’s That Sh*t”, is a flaccid failure.

Lyrically, Snoop is better than he usually is, but he’s never really raised the bar to the point where this is an accomplishment or anything.

“Tha Blue Carpet Treatment” isn’t a bad album, so much as it’s more compelling evidence of the inertia that’s enveloped Snoop’s once groundbreaking sound. It’s fun at times and frustrating at others. Production-wise, the album is strong from beginning to end. On the mic, however, Snoop steps aside too many times for too many MCs and never really builds any momentum from track to track.

A decent CD that could’ve (and should’ve) been better.

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Jibbs – Jibbs Feat. Jibbs
Geffen Records (release date: 10/24/2006)
Rap

Sometimes I wonder if the rap industry has passed me by.

Jibbs was born in November 1990 or about 18 months before Kris Kross first blew up. I didn’t understand kiddie rappers then and I still don’t, but calling the 16-year-old Jibbs a “child” is probably more reflective of the fact that I’m in my early 30s. Hell, to me, everyone born after 1990 is a threat to steal my car and/or corrupt my son.

Still, Jibbs does have one unique thing going for him, as he’s one of the few rappers out there who refuse to use profanity. So, while that might make him accessible in a Will Smith, Wal-Mart friendly kind of way…will it translate into success?

Well, one could argue that it already has as his first single, “Chain Hang Low” has inexplicably climbed the Billboard charts and set up shop in the top ten. It’s different, I’ll give it that, with a sing-songy hook and an over-the-top braggadocio that has a candy-coated charm.

There’s a more aggressive side to Jibbs that’s shown on tracks like “Yeah Boii” and “King Kong”. The latter features Chamillionaire who makes up for his inherent lack of lyrical skill with a load of charisma and decent chemistry with Jibbs. Meanwhile, David Banner produces “Yeah Boii” and layers it a little more densely that the usual drum-driven monotony out of the Midwest/Dirty South scene.

Former Death Row Records artist J. Valentine (who is probably best known for his appearance on the posthumous Tupac track “Until the End of Time”) shows up on “Let’s Be Real”. If you’ve heard one track warning a girl to leave her trifling man, you’ve heard them all.

It’s still better than the larcenous sampling of Janet Jackson’s “Let’s Wait Awhile” on “Go Too Far”. Melody Thorton from The Pussycat Dolls gets the guest spot here, but I’m madder that they actually got permission to use the classic Janet hit than at the actual end result. Although, not by much.

We’ll give Jibbs a point for the surefire strip-club ass-clapping anthem, Bring It Back, which manages to differentiate itself with a higher level of energy than what’s found on cookie cutter tracks like “Go Gurl” and “I’m a Rhino”.

Jibbs Feat. Jibbs pretty much is what it is. And, that last sentence sums up the level of lyricism and wit that you’ll hear here. By St. Louis standards, this album at least occasionally strays from convention and isn’t afraid to take a risk or two. Unfortunately, that’s the exception and not the norm for Jibbs. But, as long as he has the “106 & Park” audience in his back pocket, why be different when “safe” sells?

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