(For those of you who were led here by the music-related smut tag, and you know who you are, please proceed to the last paragraph.)

OK, this charade has gone on long enough. Seriously. This has got to stop. It’s not funny anymore, and it’s not even ironically entertaining (see Hung, William). But I guess someone out there begs to differ, as the recession has apparently hit the record labels harder than ever, and they’re looking to make money wherever they can, as evidenced by upcoming release of an EP by American Idol season-six loser Sanjaya Malakar Jan. 20.

Dancing to the Music in My Head (also the title of the singer’s memoirs, to be released the same day) features five original tracks, which can previewed on Amazon.com, and an album cover (in which Sanjaya caresses his robust mane of hair and gazes into the eyes of anyone who will look) that looks like something that he got made at one of those photo-sticker kiosks at the mall. Here’s a performance of the release’s first single, “A Quintessential Lullaby”, which incorporates music from Sanjaya’s Bengali background, which had me making this face just a matter of seconds into the thing. If anyone should be utilizing the Auto-Tune apparatus, this here would be a leading candidate (see also, Johansson, Scarlett).

It’s hard to imagine that something like this would move more than a thousand or so units, but were the EP to come with an accompanying DVD featuring a montage of action shots of Sanjaya’s hot sister (and fellow American Idol loser) Shyamali and her large breasts, then we might have some gold-record possibilities… If you’re like me, you’re still looking at that GIF file—it’s hypnotic, isn’t it?

(Amazon.com, SeriouslyOMG.com)

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